The Rosa Chronicles: The Ups, the Downs, and the Wardrobe Changes

This week, on Monday, I started my leave from CALOR, the organization I founded, after 21 years of uninterrupted services. After consulting with my husband, who has always been supportive, and my doctor, we determined that I needed a break to focus on my health and my family, and to decide what to do in the future. I have been feeling burned out. Overwhelmed with shifts in funding and other changes that I could not control, but that nevertheless affected me. I have been feeling torn between being able to provide direct services and being buried in paperwork, that, while important, it can be cumbersome. At the end of the day, I was feeling drained, but not the kind of drain you feel when you accomplish something good. It was a feeling of having been doing a lot and still not having done much. I have always taken pride of having an organized desk, and suddenly my desk was covered with papers and files and reports...I felt defeated. I was losing patience with simple things like emails;

Yes. That is exactly how long it took me to finish Week 1of the 12 week shape up challenge.  I started, very excitedly, and then daily living came into play and of course I got side-tracked. But I came back and was able finish it, so I am focusing on that, on the fact that I finished it, instead of focusing on the two weeks it took to finish week one. Focusing on the good, on my accomplishments is something that does not come easy to me. I generally focus on what I have not done, what still needs to be done, and in the process I miss opportunities to celebrate great things. At work, for example, I am very efficient with my time. I am generally able to finish various tasks without much problem (well, aggravations and barriers, but all of them bearable!). Anybody else would be happy and satisfied with what I get to do in a day. But me? No, I don't do that. I always think that there was something else that I could have done. I tend to think of the 5 other things that are still pendi