I am not alone.

I did not get to write my blog last week, and this week, I have been struggling for the past hour or so to get to do it. No, it is not that I am lazy; I am just battling with a really bad bout of depression that has given me a good kick in the butt, and that is resisting every attempt I make to shake it up.

It all started after my return from vacation. I could not face going back to the work routine after having had such a relaxing and wonderful vacation. But it lingered a bit longer, and things got worse. First were the headaches, then came the anxiety. After this came the lack of energy, not being able to get up in the morning, not wanting to do anything but being a total couch potato, spending hours watching TV, which by itself should have been a sign because those of you that know me personally know that I don't watch TV at all. Then I wanted to sleep all the time, but after a couple of hours of sleep, I would wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to go back to sleep. Lastly, the crying began. For no apparent reason. It was as if I could cry on command: tell me something and I would cry. That is when knew I had to seek help.

From Diabetic Connect. A reminder...every day.

Luckily for me, I have a great primary care physician who gave me an appointment for the same day. I was in her office only within a couple of hours, and, as usual, Dr. Zamora took her time to talk to me, explore different options, and finally agreed on a course of treatment for my depression. I am far from getting out of it, but I have already taken steps to make things better, hopefully soon.

The conversation with Dr. Zamora led to another conversation with my husband, and plans about other steps I need to take to improve my condition. I am blessed to have a very supportive man by my side, who cares deeply about my well being. With his help, I was able to come up with a plan for the next couple of months which will alleviate much of the conditions that contribute to my depression.

So, with all this happening, you can imagine I have had no energy or interest to workout. It has been there, in the back of my mind, but minimal action was taken. I tried (twice!) the first session of the 12 week Shape Up Challenge, but have not been able to keep going. Too tired to do it after work, I have thought about getting up early in the morning, but then insomnia attacks me and by the time I should be going down to the gym is around the time that I am being able to catch some sleep before going to work. Yet, I am determined to do it. I submitted my entries to the 12 week Shape Up Challenge (see pictures below - at your own risk!) and I am sure I will accomplish it!

How will I look after 12 weeks?

All this must go!

Before I close this blog, I want to thank my friends that checked on me, that asked "is everything OK?," and "what can I do to help?" I have to give a special shout out to a friend that sensed my despair and responded to it. Nancy Salvat, a Facebook friend, sent me some messages yesterday, the worst day of my depression by far. I was intrigued by her messages, and asked her why she was sending those messages. This is what Nancy said: " You are always so positive in your posts and I've noticed that your recent posts have not been so not u. I don't know what you are going through and I know I dont know you personally but I felt in my heart that you needed to hear that you are strong. Whatever it is that is bugging you now...will soon be a thing of the past."

It warmed my heart; it made me cry. It reminded me I am not alone.