The Rosa Chronicles: The Ups, the Downs, and the Wardrobe Changes

This is the continuation of my previous post. To summarize that post, I related about my severe bout of depression that left me out of commission for a while. I reverted back to old habits and quickly gained weight. I was put on new medications and they worked just fine. My husband had planned a trip to Puerto Rico for the two of us. He knows how the Chicago weather makes me feel, and he thought a couple of days in sunny Puerto Rico, mi patria , would make me feel better. And so we got on the plane and headed to La Isla del Encanto . For the first time we took a night flight to the Island; we generally fly during the day to get some extra time. The flight itself was weird; it seemed like it lasted forever, more than the 4 1/2 hours that takes to get there. At one point I looked at Andrew, who was sitting in the seat across from me, because the plane felt suspended in the air, as if it were not moving. Shortly after, I remember clearly, I asked him about my mom-in-law, with whom we ...

This post is a bit different from my previous ones, but here it goes anyway. For a while now, I have been longing for a place where I can feel connected to a Higher Entity. I had tried a couple of congregations, but had not felt that I was at home. Recently, though, I visited the Second Unitarian Church of Chicago , and I think I have found the right place for us. The first time I was there I was impressed with the warm welcome that members gave me as well as by the very diverse group of people at the church. I was equally impressed with the sermon on that day as it quoted from different sources - the Quran, the Bible, Buddhism, and the message was geared towards growth as an individual person rather than a punitive, "burn in hell" one that often one hears. About three weeks ago, I was there for the Sunday morning service, and when the Reverend began his sermon, I felt as if Andrew had talked to him about my issues and the message was specifically directed to me. You ...

I have not written in a while. In fact, it has been more than a month since the last time I wrote! But it has been a very busy month, with many activities, a lot of achievements, changes, and new plans for the upcoming months. A month without writing is a long time, so this is going to be a multi-part blog, with the first installment being posted today. Here's Part I: Hawaii - Wonderful vacation! Andrew, the girls and I went on vacation to Hawaii, and what a great experience it was! We stayed in Oahu, and spent 9 wonderful days there. We had a couple of activities scheduled, like visiting the Polynesian Cultural Center   where we took part of the Ali'i Luau, which included visits to villages of the Islands Nations of Polynesia (Tonga, Tahiti, Marquesas, Hawaii, Fiji, Aotearoa, and Samoa), Hula lessons, a canoe pageant , and of course, a delicious dinner, followed by a fantastic show, Ha - Breath of Life .  My Bear and I at the Ali'i Luau We also went snorkeling, wh...

This week, on Monday, I started my leave from CALOR, the organization I founded, after 21 years of uninterrupted services. After consulting with my husband, who has always been supportive, and my doctor, we determined that I needed a break to focus on my health and my family, and to decide what to do in the future. I have been feeling burned out. Overwhelmed with shifts in funding and other changes that I could not control, but that nevertheless affected me. I have been feeling torn between being able to provide direct services and being buried in paperwork, that, while important, it can be cumbersome. At the end of the day, I was feeling drained, but not the kind of drain you feel when you accomplish something good. It was a feeling of having been doing a lot and still not having done much. I have always taken pride of having an organized desk, and suddenly my desk was covered with papers and files and reports...I felt defeated. I was losing patience with simple things like emails; ...

I did not get to write my blog last week, and this week, I have been struggling for the past hour or so to get to do it. No, it is not that I am lazy; I am just battling with a really bad bout of depression that has given me a good kick in the butt, and that is resisting every attempt I make to shake it up. It all started after my return from vacation. I could not face going back to the work routine after having had such a relaxing and wonderful vacation. But it lingered a bit longer, and things got worse. First were the headaches, then came the anxiety. After this came the lack of energy, not being able to get up in the morning, not wanting to do anything but being a total couch potato, spending hours watching TV, which by itself should have been a sign because those of you that know me personally know that I don't watch TV at all. Then I wanted to sleep all the time, but after a couple of hours of sleep, I would wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to go back to s...