You need to start somewhere...
...and my place to start is identifying my barriers so that I can work on overcoming them. But it is hard because many times the barriers are so much a part of your daily life that you don't even recognize them as barriers anymore. You just accept them and try to deal with them in the best possible way. Better that than to add one additional thing to your already crammed "To Do" list.
But when the barriers become overwhelming to the point that they can be crippling, then you know it is time to really attack them and change that into something positive. In my case, one of my barriers, perhaps the biggest one, is anxiety. Generalized Anxiety Disorder, to be more specific. I was diagnosed with this a couple of years back, but I have tried to dismiss it. You know, we have a tendency to think that mental health issues are just for those that are weak, and I certainly don't think of myself as a weak person.
But today, after a wonderful break from work, in which I got to spend valuable time with my family and loved ones, the freaking anxiety attacked me at the very inappropriate hour of 10:30 p.m., when I should have been ready to go to sleep. And it hit me hard. I worried about my daughter's FAFSA application for college. Was it done? Do I have the PIN? I requested it, how come I did not receive it? (I forgot it is a holiday and that I will probably receive it early tomorrow). And then my lil one's financial application assistance. The questions they ask! I had to pull documents from my files (thank God I'm organized) to be able to answer some of those questions. And in the process of doing all this, I filled a page of the little notebook that I carry with me at all times with things I need to do.
So at the end of this process, I was stressed out and with a list of things to do that I know I will not possibly be able to finish in one day...which is another barrier I have, the Super-Woman Complex. Why, oh, why do I think that I have to do it all? And to do it all today? Funny thing is that, as mentioned in the link above, these are my own impositions; nobody is asking me or expecting me to do it all today! So I just don't get it. Some times I trace it back to my grammar school years, where I was part of a group of super-achievers, when getting a B was almost a mortal sin. But I have been out of grammar school for many years. It is time for me to let go of that. And like my mother used to say, "uno se muere y las cosas se quedan" (one dies and things remain).
And the worst part of these two barriers (in addition to the stress, the lack of sleep, the muscle aches, and all other symptoms) is that they do not allow me to focus and rejoice in my achievements, in the things I do good and accomplish without pressure, in the simple but much more important things like spending time with my girls and my husband watching a movie, reading a book, or just doing nothing.
So there is where I am starting. I have asked my husband to help me work on overcoming these barriers. I will be asking my friends to tell me "stop" when they see me I am doing way too much. I am sure they will appreciate a much more relaxed friend rather than the stressed-out dynamo that I know I become at times (OK, very frequently!). Tomorrow, when I open that "To Do" list I created today during my anxiety attack, I will try to do what I can, but I will try to be very conscious of not getting stressed out if I can't accomplish all the things in the list. Those that I don't get done, I will simply move them to the next day.
And at the end of the day, I will make an attempt to rejoice on what I did do. I know I can do it.
But when the barriers become overwhelming to the point that they can be crippling, then you know it is time to really attack them and change that into something positive. In my case, one of my barriers, perhaps the biggest one, is anxiety. Generalized Anxiety Disorder, to be more specific. I was diagnosed with this a couple of years back, but I have tried to dismiss it. You know, we have a tendency to think that mental health issues are just for those that are weak, and I certainly don't think of myself as a weak person.
But today, after a wonderful break from work, in which I got to spend valuable time with my family and loved ones, the freaking anxiety attacked me at the very inappropriate hour of 10:30 p.m., when I should have been ready to go to sleep. And it hit me hard. I worried about my daughter's FAFSA application for college. Was it done? Do I have the PIN? I requested it, how come I did not receive it? (I forgot it is a holiday and that I will probably receive it early tomorrow). And then my lil one's financial application assistance. The questions they ask! I had to pull documents from my files (thank God I'm organized) to be able to answer some of those questions. And in the process of doing all this, I filled a page of the little notebook that I carry with me at all times with things I need to do.
So at the end of this process, I was stressed out and with a list of things to do that I know I will not possibly be able to finish in one day...which is another barrier I have, the Super-Woman Complex. Why, oh, why do I think that I have to do it all? And to do it all today? Funny thing is that, as mentioned in the link above, these are my own impositions; nobody is asking me or expecting me to do it all today! So I just don't get it. Some times I trace it back to my grammar school years, where I was part of a group of super-achievers, when getting a B was almost a mortal sin. But I have been out of grammar school for many years. It is time for me to let go of that. And like my mother used to say, "uno se muere y las cosas se quedan" (one dies and things remain).
And the worst part of these two barriers (in addition to the stress, the lack of sleep, the muscle aches, and all other symptoms) is that they do not allow me to focus and rejoice in my achievements, in the things I do good and accomplish without pressure, in the simple but much more important things like spending time with my girls and my husband watching a movie, reading a book, or just doing nothing.
So there is where I am starting. I have asked my husband to help me work on overcoming these barriers. I will be asking my friends to tell me "stop" when they see me I am doing way too much. I am sure they will appreciate a much more relaxed friend rather than the stressed-out dynamo that I know I become at times (OK, very frequently!). Tomorrow, when I open that "To Do" list I created today during my anxiety attack, I will try to do what I can, but I will try to be very conscious of not getting stressed out if I can't accomplish all the things in the list. Those that I don't get done, I will simply move them to the next day.
And at the end of the day, I will make an attempt to rejoice on what I did do. I know I can do it.
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