Resolutions? No, not for me.

It has been a while since I last wrote something. Somehow the end of a year does something to my mood and it takes me a while to recuperate, and I still don't get enough energy to get back into routines, any type of routines.

It is hard to believe that another year came to an end. It feels as if I had barely started working on my goals for the year, and then, boom, we welcomed a new year. Why is it that time goes by so fast? I remember being young and thinking that a year lasted, well, a whole year. Now, a year feels like it last about 6 months or less. So, as many people do at this time, I was faced with the issue of setting resolutions for the new year. Ay, qué dilema! Was I really ready to do this? Was it even necessary? After much thought, I decided that resolutions were not for me. Instead, I would rather continue working on what I had already started.

Take for example my desire to go back to school. Approximately a year ago I decided that I wanted to go back to school to pursue a Doctorate in Public Health. Unfortunately, by the time I made that decision, the deadline had already passed and I was not able to submit the application. So, I had a year to work on this and put all things in place.

Am I ready for this? Yes, I am!

Now, the deadline is coming closer and I have mostly everything in place, except my objectives statement, which is giving me quite a bit of trouble. I must get it done, though and soon. And in order to do it, I have to deal with another pending issue from last year: Facebook Addiction Disorder. Well, it is more than FAD; it is more like social media and internet addiction. And combined with my insomnia and depression, this does not make for a good recipe. I spend so much time on social media, time that I can dedicate to more productive things Time and again I remind myself of this, but it generally happens when I am at a low point in my productive cycle, when I don't feel like doing shit. And of course, the total opposite happens. I waste time looking aimlessly at social media crap that really has no impact in my life. And if the low cycle happens to pair itself with insomnia cycles, then all hell breaks loose.

A couple of days ago, for example, I had slept a little over 12 hours in two days. Since I couldn't sleep, but I was way too tired to do anything productive (like paying the bills spread over the dining table, or completing my paperwork for school, or writing my blog), I spent time looking at stuff on the internet. I can only label it "stuff" cause it does not follow any particular pattern; it is just stuff. I start with one thing which leads me to another, and so it goes on. In those two days I found out how Vic Morrow died and saw videos of the horrific accident. From there I went to another page that recounted the 10 most horrible accidents caught on tape. And somehow I ended up watching videos of plastic surgery gone wrong, which of course scared me to death as I had been considering a tummy tuck to get rid of unwanted fat. Ah! It was crazy! In any case, I do have to take control of those cycles and cut down on wasting time on useless things, particularly as I gear up to go back to school, which will require a lot of time and attention (it is an online program!).

Another thing I have to continue working on? Getting healthy. Plain and simple. Or so it sounds. Last year I gave getting healthy a good chance and I am pretty satisfied with the results. Looking at pictures from when I first started working out and eating healthier and now, I can see the difference. And I am happy with the progress I have made. My doctor is equally happy; I love that her focus has always been keeping my diabetes under control, and the 8 lbs that I have managed to keep off have done just that. She encourages me to exercise and eat healthy but never to fit a prescribed BMI or weight goal. That works for me!

To the left: me a couple of years ago. To the right: me right now.
Progress has been made!

To continue in our quest to be healthy, my Bear and I joined a health club today. Through the summer, we ran in Humboldt Park and worked out in our mini-gym on the first floor, but now with this winter weather there is no way I will run outside; my level of commitment is not there yet. But I do miss running, and I want to do more with weights, so we decided to join a gym to get things going.

So I am looking forward to 2014 and my commitment to myself, my health, and my family. Thinking about it, some may say that this is actually a resolution. Call it what you want, but to me, it is just a way to keep improving, to keep moving forward, to be the best I can be. And I know there is still a lot more that I can give.